Embracing Imperfection

Imperfection is inevitable. Can we learn to love it?

I’ve been thinking about perfectionism lately and had about myself.

How can we embrace our imperfections and rid ourselves of unnecessary striving?

I wrote a blog post about “open mics” and then played another open mic last Saturday.

I made a ton of mistakes and felt a bit off.

I missed notes I’d never had a problem with when practicing, so I was surprised when they happened and reacted a bit. The crowd laughed. And luckily, so did I. They were kind of funny and even a little fun, to be honest.

Afterward, my musician pride started to take over. Man, what happened? I thought. I wondered if I had practiced enough. Or was I tired? Or something else?

Upon reflection, I realized that I probably played 95% of the right notes, and that 5 percent of my piano notes were clunkers. I sang great. My wife said it was my best vocal performance yet!

But here I am three days later still beating myself up over one or two annoying chord calamities per song and maybe three or four on the song my poor wife was singing on. Wow, I have a really high bar!

I got an A- but I’m acting like it was an F and that I’m evaluated on American Idol.

In my experience, about 90% of what musicians play in a given performance is spot-on.

It’s that last 10% where things get interesting.

We might take a chance, miss a note and/or make a mistake. Sometimes it's even closer to 98% perfection.

One of my old drum teachers used to say he has a perfect gig once every 275 days. The stars align and he’s not even sure what is happening. He feels invincible and in flow. And with that knowledge, he sets out each night doing his best to walk the path until he gets to the next magical night. Here we go, 274 gigs until the stars align. Note: it isn’t sequential but quite random. His perfect nights might be nights #35, #506, and #510, so approximately every 275 nights or so.

My point today is that we have to embrace this imperfection and learn to thrive in it. It’s the norm! And it makes you wonderfully human.

Let’s get comfortable with our A- or B+ and maybe risk a C or D sometimes when we are stretching.

Here are a few reframes to help when working with perfectionism:

• Perfectly Imperfect is a hell of a lot more interesting than sterile. Are my heroes perfect? Didn’t think so.

• Celebrate the cracks (not crack): Kintsugi is the Japanese practice of filling the cracks of broken ceramic pieces with gold. It’s a great metaphor for healing, perfectionism, and the like.

• Perfectionism is just procrastination in pretty shoes

• Take it easy on that last 5%, and don't be so hard on yourself. People often don’t notice minor mistakes. You might play a near-perfect 55-minute set and hit one bad note, which the audience probably won't even remember. Give yourself some credit.

Can you find a smile?

It may sound trite, but I think searching for a smile when you make mistakes is an excellent way of acknowledging that you are learning.

Smile and know you are reaching for the stars, aiming for higher goals. Some day soon, you will play more fluidly and get more comfortable with advanced material.

Here’s a video I made about embracing imperfection:

Reflection Questions

Take a moment to think back on a recent project or performance. Can you identify a time when you got caught up in small, insignificant mistakes?

Now, write down three things you did well in that experience—no matter how small. Focus on what you got right.

If you're comfortable, feel free to share your reflections in the comments. You never know who might be inspired by your insights, and you can uplift others by recognizing their achievements, too.

Journal Prompts

What standards do you currently hold for yourself in your creative or professional work?

In what ways do these standards support your growth and success?

Where do these standards create unnecessary roadblocks?

How might you adjust or rethink these expectations to create a healthier, more balanced approach?

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