Naming Your Inner Critic

Some thoughts on the value of naming your inner critic

Name Your Own Doubt to Claim it!

I once heard Dr. Phil say “You gotta name it to claim it!”

I cringed a little, but I gotta admit I’m a sucker for a decent rhyme.

Dr. Phil explains that if you are more clear about what you want, you have a lot better chance of heading in the right direction. Who can argue with that?

I also think you gotta name what you are up against. And for me, that’s my inner critic (aka self-doubt).

My critic is a real pain in the butt sometimes. He says he’s on my team, trying to help me be a better version of myself. He suggests I should have an editor for this blog post and that I should read it aloud to make sure these words are coherent.

The problem is, he doesn’t stop there. He also suggests this blog post will be lost in an endless ocean of “content” and that no one else will “get it” so why bother.

I often call him Judgy McJudgeFace. I asked AI to make an image of him and this was the first one that came back.

While Judgy can be formidable opponent when I’m trying to do creative work or do something new, he’s also a great ally who helps me improve my work. Spotting him is more than half the battle!

I especially like that his unibrow won’t let me take him too seriously, but I also see he might yet have some wisdom to offer.

What’s In a Name?

A great Doubt name is whatever works for you. Here’s a checklist to help you create your own name:

• Go adjective hunting:

  • Create a list of adjectives that describe your voice

  • Try saying what your voice says out loud and see if any new adjectives come to mind

• Have Fun

  • Use alliteration (e.g. Stay Small Sally)

  • Use a rhymes or same-sound words (e.g. Miss Prissy)

• Stay flexible:

  • Doubt may change so you may need a couple names (e.g. Triple P)

Feel free to change your Doubt name if her approach changes. My Doubt often morphs after I get good at spotting him or her and uses new voices or approaches. My “not good enough” voice can suddenly look like “option paralysis”.

Pro Tips

• Make it memorable.

• Make it a little humorous if you can (a smile helps when we are working with such a voice!).

• Use adjectives that describe your voice. One is enough, but sometimes a few makes it more descriptive and identifiable.

So What’s In It for Me?

Here are just a few of the benefits I have experienced and also witnessed from others when naming the voice inside our heads:

1. We see the negative voice as only a part of ourselves and not the whole self. This often leads to feeling lighter, larger, and more able to access self-acceptance.

2. We learn that there are typically many other voices (also known as thoughts, ruminations, ideas, etc.), which helps us dilute these fear- or shame-based voices.

3. We recognize our own choice in deciding if we listen to the negative voice. Sometimes the voice of Doubt has good reasons to have us pause and consider the consequences or effects of our actions. Most of the time however, these negative voices worry far too much about circumstances that are hardly a threat to our life or livelihood. For example, singing in public is not going to kill anyone, including the singer.

Say My Name

One of my names for Doubt has been Judgy McJudge-face. I find my judge to be rather annoying and never satisfied.

Here are just a few of my favorite names for Doubt from both my own work, and the work of my friends and clients:

• Not quite there yet Ned

• Dr. Crabby Crazy

• Mr. Cynical Von Smugington

• Triple P (perfectionist, protector, peanut gallery)

• The Minimizer

• Mr. Play-It-Small

• Senor No Deservo

• Captain Stay-in-the-Box

• Miss Prissy

• Dr. Watson Worry

• Stay Small Sally

• Killjoy

I asked AI to come up with some muppet-like version of these just for fun and to help give us a visual that reminds us to keep our Doubt in perspective.

Self-Doubt May Look Cute, but Beware!

In our last group coaching call, I got a new one:

One of our members shared, "I'm still exploring my doubt & how it shows up and I've decided on a name for it: Beetlejuice (from the movie) because it has the initial appearance of trying to help & it can be quite dark & make me feel small.” She added, “and it can be banished by saying it out loud 3 times, which is what I've been doing before meetings. The silliness of it helps me get grounded again.”

Just say Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

Your Turn!

Are you ready to name your self-doubt voice?

Naming your Doubt isn't just a playful exercise; it's a powerful step towards recognizing and managing the voices that hold us back.

So, what will you name yours?

Update April 19

In today’s Doubters Anonymous meeting, I got a few more Doubt names

Introducing:

Debbie Downer Doubter

Mrs. Doubtfire

Procrastination Patty

And the No Fun Bureaucrat: